Curves of pleasure
I mentioned the pleasure curve in my last post. To know about the different ways of arousal in men and women was quite crucial to me. For women it usually takes much longer than for men to get deeply aroused (inside the vagina, not only in the clitoris).
So the curve that has a quick arousal, quick peak and then goes down very fast is the male way of living sexuality (the way it is taught or shown to us in western cultures). Some women are able to adjust to this curve with the clitoris arousing fast. But then the deeper levels are not satisfied.
I used to enjoy sex on this quick superficial level not even knowing that I would ever be able to experience deep bliss inside my vulva.
I only experienced numbness inside my yoni (Sanskrit for vagina) or even pain at the cervix. So I often only enjoyed sex before the penetration and then I was glad when it didn’t take too long.
This totally changed once I understood that I need more time and that this is perfectly fine. I always wanted to please the intimite partners so I didn’t listen to what my body and soul really needed.
With Marc at my side, a lot of trust, time and tantric practice, I started to open up. Emotionally and inside my yoni. There was still numbness and pain in the beginning but with love, massage and zero pressure to reach anywhere, I completely relaxed and so did my vulva. She softened, started to feel, to enjoy and later on to experience beautiful orgasms.
More on expectations, how they can kill the sex lust, the connection between partners and how to overcome it I will write about in another post…
Photo again by beautiful xime